pervy snape fancier

Me: So, Severus-storyteller, tell me: if you were in this situation [warning: NWS art], how would you react? *poised to take dictation from the muse*

Severus: *pauses thoughtfully* Well, I would say "I'd have a mental breakdown," except for the small fact that if I did find myself in that situation, it could only be because I'd already had one.

Me: THAT DOESN'T HELP ME WRITE A STORY KTHX. ... ya jerk.

...Me: *tries to work that line in anyway*


(I suppose I could try to write a story where Severus had gone insane well before events resulted in the tableau seen there, but that seems way too long and involved, and a rather too weird interpretation of the picture.)

Ack. Note to self: MUST GET GOING ON SNAPEDOM SUMMER FEST FIC. Maybe having Fridays off this summer will help. I've been woefully drifting on the plot-bunny failboat here. :-/

This is a non-anonymous exchange and the two of the three drawings I could write stories for that were in fests have been revealed, so... any ideas, anyone?

Severus helps Draco brew Elixir of Euphoria (gen, G)
Last Kiss (Severus/Lily, G)
Beltane Rite (Severus/Harry with Draco; NC-17/NWS)

edit: Oh good god. geri_chan wrote ~20,000 words for hers and posted it already (this is the 1/3 of the way through a post-whenever-you're-done kind of schedule). I am SO going to be made of fail.

Argh. Y/N: It is silly to let comments on others' fics get me down when they praise a Severus that is the opposite of what I've written, and say "I'm so glad he's not [exactly what I wrote]", because what I wrote was that way because it was to someone else's order? Especially when the same person praised what I wrote as well (contradictory, that, but hey)?

I just get an "oh, man, I must have sucked then because I didn't do that, bah I'm so cliche, I'm writing the sort of Severus that annoys people" kind of feeling...

drachenmina, I don't know if maybe you figured this out, but the recalcitrant Snack fic I was referring to in this post was supposed to be yours for your birthday. There's just no way it's going to be done in time. I've only been managing about half as fast as I would have needed to do, and to top it off I lost a chunk of time to a fire alarm incident at work tonight. Here's a sampler, though, as a kind of apology: ( Read more... )

*thumps Snack drabble series*

Actually I think it has turned into a regular fic aside from the "one prompt per hundred words" factor (I'm using the fanfic100 table), since most of the "drabbles" fail to stand alone and long series is long, but that's not the problem.

The problem is the boys just don't want to play. I've only just managed to get one of them to so much as wank over the other and it's 4800 words already.

Is there a lust potion in the house?

Who did [redacted] words of pinch-hit for less_for_you, but had never signed up for it in the first place?

That's right! Me!

Wowsers. Especially wowsers given that my fear of exchanges is "I can't write to spec on a deadline". Three months of deadline would have been a lot less stressful than three weeks! *eyeroll*

Finally I can glue myself to the net and read my LJ flist (having got through the ones for starlightforest and on IJ earlier this weekend). It's only about ten days' worth! *hysterical laughter*

I'm not dead yet! I'm getting better! I was gone for four days to Texas and then I spent like all of yesterday betaing about 20,000 words of fic for less_for_you. Mine eyes, they fall out.

More similar stuff today, including hoping to $DEITY that I can magically produce a second pinch hit for another recipient besides the one I wrote a week and a half ago (which I also have to get to revising and will hopefully get back from second beta today). I found some fragments in my WIP folder, previously relegated to the "man, I am SO never going to finish that, am I?" pile, which seem to fit the request okay and may be able to be put together and the joins papered over. But among everything else, I just dunno.

And I still haven't got around to actually reading my flist, so when I do, I'll have like six or seven days' worth. Ugh. (If you posted something since last Thursday evening that you think I'll really like, you could point me to it?)

I guess it's good, though, that even though less_for_you has become a massive headache over the past few weeks, I still feel positive about it and would do it again in a heartbeat.

P.S. I had about two seconds of dream last night where I dreamed I was Lily. O.o

I am waiting on a particular reply first, but in case she is not available -- can anyone possibly beta a Severus/Lily? This is for less_for_you (may be used as a pinch gift), so no one who's participating, please, and that's why I'm not saying more about how long it is or what its rating is like. If you might be interested, email me at my LJ/IJ address or drop me a PM.

Speaking of which, torino10154, the_bitter_word, and snapesgirl_62: Thanks for your offers; we may have it under control now. *crosses fingers* Although if y'all wanna write your stuff anyway and put more Severus/Lily out in the world, I'm not going to complain. ;)

ETA: I has betas, thanks!

Do you have absolutely all of your work beta-read? If not, when do you not?

This question comes about because I noticed that alisanne has all of her drabbles betaed (by sevfan), and that seems unusual. I've seen a number of other people say that they never bother to have drabbles betaed, while they do most/all of their other stuff. I suppose with a piece that short she's just having someone check it quick for errors of mass stupid, but still.

I never have my drabbles betaed. In fact, a lot of my stuff (as though there were a lot! ha!) has never been passed through a beta because I regarded it as highly non-serious, just written as a lark, or sometimes literally as a joke (e.g. "Potion-Induced Comma"). I certainly don't beta the stuff I write about silly summaries, which often is long enough to get a "drabble" (<200 words) or "ficlet" (200-1000 words) tag. Not that crack/humour can't be done "for serious", just that that wasn't what I thought I was doing.

So. What are the factors that would cause you to pass up having something betaed, if anything? Just curious.

Then she got an idea! An awful idea! THE esmestrella GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

In the spirit of fairness, I want to state outright that this is an idea almost certainly doomed to failure and nothing may ever come of any effort you, the hypothetical gentle reader, may put out. But if I can't give it the old college try, I ought to at least give it the old third-grade try.

Can anyone point me to general resources on Lancashire? Stuff that would help me, a complete ignoramus on the subject, write something that was set there?

It doesn't need to be very great -- I have, if not outright parody, then at least something very silly in mind. But it should be sensibly silly; the silliness should fit together. And I, having been born in California and never set foot anywhere in England, much less Lancashire specifically, am pathologically unable to achieve that without help.

On the advice of coyotegoth (which conflicted with alwaysasnapefan's but was more what I was leaning towards to begin with) I am editing out some of the crackier bits, trying to keep the wit where possible, but saying it with less goofiness. For your entertainment, here are the outtakes that didn't make it. ("...eat wool until he shat jumpers", as already mentioned, stayed in. ;) )

---

The Royal Society of Things Sirius Wanted to Hear from Severus Snape seemed to have taken on some surprising new fellows in the past few minutes, including a sizable contingent which weren't even proper words and ought by all rights to have been denied membership in such an exclusive organization.

---

...which was performed with a speed that a striking cobra would have thought marked a contender to look out for when it came time for the next round of promotions.
(coyotegoth thought this was Douglas Adams-esque, which is high praise, although not so suitable for this fic.)

---

"Uhn--!" Sirius said, as his knees made a snap decision to transition to liquid phase.

The Snack ficlet I asked for betas for the other day totally failed to be a lightweight, smutty little morsel. It came out at ~6800 words, which is by a long shot the longest fic I have ever completed. It's almost triple the next contender* and over 3.5 times the next one that I have actually posted anywhere.

It was also written incredibly fast, for me, since I only started it on the 11th, I think. I am regularly in awe of how people can get down more than a thousand words at all, never mind over a short space of time. 10k+ really makes my jaw drop. If I get any ideas in the first place, I run out of them long before I fill up that kind of column inches.

Anyway, it's with said betas now, but I am still chewing my nails. Not over what they might say, but over the idea that I might have been entirely wasting my time. ( more angst inside! )

I'm in the process of scrambling to try to write a ficlet for... um... nefarious secret purposes. If I manage to get it done in the next couple of days, would anyone be able to beta it and be able to get it back to me by Monday? Severus/Sirius, PWP.

eta: Thanks alwaysasnapefan!

I really ought to join a Britpicking community for these kinds of questions if I am going to be writing stuff that requires asking them, but I need to leave the house in about negative twenty minutes. I tried to have the fic in question done for the snapedom Valentine's party, but that's not happening. It got long (well, long for me: not quite finished at ~2200) and now really needs betaing to boot. Anyway:

1. What's the entry room of a row house or town house called? Is that the parlour? Would/could there be a fireplace in such a room?

2. Is the word "hooligan" a word in general circulation, or is it one of those "only people of a certain class/region/age would say it" things? (If it just sounds a bit silly or out of fashion, that's fine; that's the effect I'm going for.)


And a random non-Britpick question: Do you, gentle reader, know what a "planisphere" is without looking up the word?

*kicks cumbersome sentence*

Quit collapsing under your own weight, you damnable (*koff*) thing!


When did we get a grindstone installed in the library, anyway?

Does anybody feel like betaing a short Severus/Lily fic, ~1500 words, G rated (well, except for the word "damnable"), angst/friendship/hint-of-romance thing? I think it's complete, but that's actually one of the things I need feedback on.

(That's fun to say with the acronym expanded. "Plot? What Plot?" What "Plot? What Plot?")

I've been working on a Severus/Sirius/Regulus PWP for about two months now, which is the first smut I've tried to write. I think that perhaps a threesome was the wrong way to break into the business, and I should have spent some time leveling up first. Too many limbs to keep track of. Running out of pronouns. Have to keep asking myself "now, in all those paragraphs where we followed Severus's internal monologue, how much external-world time has passed? Was it a reasonable just-a-few-seconds, or ought Regulus and Sirius have gone on to the post-coital cigarette by now?"

But frustrating as that is, that's not the real problem. The problem is that in merely ~2200 words of what was supposed to be slightly angsty pr0n, I have managed to imply or directly state all of the following: ( Read more... )

So another 600 words of just trying to keep my thoughts straight. The original ~1200 words that started this whole thing was an orphaned middle which needed a beginning and ending. 1000 words later the "episode" has an ending (still needs a beginning), but it's now a larger orphaned middle that begs a framework of its own: How did things get this way? and How are they resolved?

tl;dr: This was just supposed to be a little nosh of PWP. Whahappa??

P.S. Yes, two months to produce 2200 words. I keep tellin' y'all I'm not a writer.

Someone's A/N:

"I have to say that Snape and Harry are the two most persistent characters when they want a story written. Remus and Tonks? Sure, no problem, take all the time you need. But Snape and Harry? They don't care that you're in the middle of class and you're supposed to be taking notes. They don't care that it's 11:00 at night and you're tired and you want to go to bed. No, you write the story, and you write it now."

This is true, or at least I educated-guess that it's true, not having written much that involves Harry myself. But Severus, in any case, is definitely one pushy bastard.

"Severus, it's 3:45 in the morning."

"That's the best time for me to talk to you. You're almost capable of thinking about several things at once when you're half-unconscious."

"But if I turn on the light to scribble this down, it'll start my attempt-to-sleep cycle all over!"

"Suit yourself. It's no skin off my nose if you want to forget that sentence that just passed through your head which I plainly heard you think was so wonderful. Even if it is some skin off my nose, I have plenty to spare."

ETA:

enotsola:
so... snape makes jokes like Max Klinger?

esmestrella:
...
well maybe
but with a much dryer, more ... haughty? sound
i mean...
klinger doesn't really have the "you know i'm completely right and there's no way you're not going to do what i tell you to do, but i'll say this anyway because i like the look on your face and hearing myself say these perfectly clever words" thing going on
i mean, there was no *joke* there
there was an eyebrow
i guess with severus that passes for a joke
lol

xpost to snape100.

Title: Diamonds and Rubies
Word Count: 100 x 2
Rating: PG
Challenge #199: Snape and the Malfoys
Characters: Severus Snape, Lucius Malfoy
Warning: Vague hint at blood-play.

A/N: I've never tried to write any of the Malfoys, so I'm kind of blundering around in the dark here. I just wanted to give the prompt a try, and see if I could come up with something. I liked the first sentence, anyway, and wanted to expand on it.

( Droplets of rain speckled Severus' cloak... )

----

Further note, this being my own journal: This is okay, but not great. I like some of the imagery but it falls a little flat. I just wanted to try, though, as I said. Sort of the "write something every day, even if it's crap" idea (although this isn't every day).

I tried to write a 100-word for the latest snape100 prompt, "Clothing". It turned into 344 (now 346, with fenm's help) words. And I just can't bear to pare it down for posting there.

Words coming unbidden is a positively sinful feeling sometimes.

kind-of-beta'd by fenm, heh.

( on christmas morning )