pervy snape fancier

I was very surprised to learn that I actually had more than 25 fics to draw from; I thought I was going to come up short. This might not be in quite the right order since I'm going on file-created/modified dates rather than looking back in my actual posts. Reverse chronological order. And just because I want to be different, I'm including the last line from each fic as well. ( Read more... )

So, um. Patterns? I don't see much. Some first lines are "here's a general summary of the theme of the fic", others are lines of dialogue, others are simple statements of action. Ditto last lines, although "He picked up his quill" is up there with "All was well" (is that a recommendation? er...), and I rather like 19 and 25 as standalone sentences.

(abandon fic! abandon fic!)

Title: (none — for Last Kiss)
Characters: Severus/Lily
Rating: PG
Words: 140
Warnings: None

Why I give up: The first stanza was inspired. The rest are just imitations. Trying to carry on poetry like this very rapidly starts sounding very forced. I would never have got this up to 1000 words (the fest minimum).

( Now kiss me again... )

Title: (none - for Severus helps Draco brew Elixir of Euphoria)
Characters: Severus, Lucius
Rating: G
Words: 79
Warnings: None

Why I give up: I think it's pretty obvious. This is just going nowhere fast.

( I'm going to have to teach this brat... )

Title: It's In the Script (for Beltane Rite NC-17, NWS)
Characters: Severus mostly; Severus/Harry implied; various combinations of Severus/Harry/Draco also kinda implied
Rating: strong PG-13 or soft R
Words: ~840
Summary: The course of true dreaming ne'er did run smooth.
Warnings: None

Why I give up: Normally I have no problem with crack, but this is stupid crack, with a gimmick that only leads to exasperated head-shaking. Totally fails to deliver on smut; I just can't write Severus/Harry, I guess.

( It's In the Script )

(abandon fic! abandon fic!)

Some abandoned drabblish things. The first two are from the same prompt set as the one Make-Believe came from, but I'm not keen on these.

( Forgetfulness )

( Wars )

( Mistake )

( Presents )

(abandon fic! abandon fic!)

Title: (none)
Characters: Lily
Rating: G
Words: 189
Warnings: None

Why I give up: Eh. This just bores me. The point of this was to have her catch some amusement or longing, have them meet later, and have him express an emotion that could only possibly be expressed with the mouth, which is wanting to kiss her, like, durhay. But I ain't feelin' it somehow.

( Many people are given to express insincere emotions... )

(abandon fic! abandon fic!)

Title: Undressed Books
Characters: Severus/Lily
Rating: very light PG
Words: 370
Warnings: None

Why I give up: I couldn't figure out how to get them into this situation and didn't even have any clear idea of whether this was meant to be AU. Also, it's just dull and seems to stop dead without being able to go on anywhere.

( Undressed Books )

(abandon fic! abandon fic!)

Title: (none)
Pairing: Severus/Sirius/Regulus
Rating: NC-17
Word count: ~2100
Summary: So Sirius wants to play power games, eh? Severus is up for that.
Warnings: Underage sex (the boys are 18/18/16, I think).

Why I give up: Couldn't figure out for the life of me how to get the three of them into this situation (so the story as is begins in media res: Severus is sitting on the edge of a bed, Sirius is kneeling behind him, and Regulus is on the floor in front of Severus). Some of the sex description is boring and too expository. No clear idea about just what the heck I was trying to do. Lack of any characterization for Regulus and I don't know how to fix it. This is about the earliest pr0n I ever wrote and I've been sitting on it since last October. At that rate, it's never going to get finished.

( ...Sirius murmured in Severus's ear in a voice of brandied lust. )

(abandon fic! abandon fic!)

Title: By Starlight
Pairing: Severus/Sirius; extremely slight hint of past Severus/Regulus if you squint.
Rating: PG
Word count: ~2300
Summary: After an Order meeting, Sirius presents Severus with an unusual gift that seems to have more than one purpose.
Warnings: None

Why I give up: This is just an unexciting idea. The plot device is contrived and the whole thing just falls really flat. Treads close to being an astronomy lesson rather than a story. Trivia: this is the fic in regards to which many, many moons ago I posted a question, "Would you know what a planisphere is without looking up the word?" If you didn't know, you're about to find out.

( By Starlight )

Someone left a review for Care and Feeding of Severus Snape on FFN saying that they were thinking of a spinoff. Here it is (still in progress):

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4347376/1/Getting_My_Very_Own_Severus_Snape

It's a little rough I think, but it's silly and fun, and it's flattering to have someone want to do this.

What if a friend buys a Sirius Black model and wants to introduce him to Snape?
If you enjoy violence and war and pain then by all means introduce them.

XD

less_for_you reveals are up. Here are the three fics I wrote (author's notes slightly edited):

Summer Shade
Rating: R
Words: ~5,000
Warnings: None
Summary: Lily shares some of her young sexual curiosity with Severus, but that may not have been the best idea.
Author's Notes: Request was for "whatif!scenarios, pre-Hogwarts, angst, hurt/comfort, unrequited love". Sort-of-three out of five ain't bad? I think it's at least ambiguous whether it's requited love or not, and there's angst at the end. AU: Severus and Lily didn't grow apart and then crash and burn they way they did in canon. They are still quite good friends in the summer after sixth year. Thanks to my betas who_la_hoop and juniperus.

Lilies Are Red, Roses Are Blue
Rating: NC-17 (barely)
Words: ~5,500
Warnings: Sexual activity between teenagers (who are of age in their jurisdiction); gratuitous ignoring of canon; fluff; extreme sappiness; Severus being too pretty; no nutritional value.
Summary: Best friends? Maybe so, but clearly there have been some other thoughts occurring on both sides as well.
Author's Notes: Request was for Marauder era, shy Snape, long hair, awkwardness, first time having sex/kissing/etc (but no PWP), fluff, and preferably above PG-13. Wa-hey, I think I might have ticked most of those boxes.

aaand... I've just now noticed I didn't thank my betas on that one. Wow. Let's see, that would have been spidermoth and... um... oh crap. Once these were posted I deleted all the betaing emails. Now it's totally escaped me. Um. Pipe up, and I'll add in a thank-you note? (I can't believe I've forgotten this; now I feel like a heel... :( )

Call of the Dark
Rating: R
Words: ~3,800
Warnings: Some purple prose, brief drug use, slight dub-con (but see rating; no sex).
Summary: Severus has learned that Dark magic can burn away his imperfections, but can he convince Lily to see it his way?
Author's Notes: Request included plot, angst, dark, after Hogwarts, Lily not returning and/or playing with Severus's feelings, and Severus as "a flesh and blood person: desires, ambitions, complexes, weaknesses but also brains". Thanks to my betas hobgoblinn and lilyevans_snape, who did record-breaking turnaround time on this.

All three of these are pinch-hits, which means they were written under some duress, so please to excuse their not being the greatest things ever. The last one especially was squeezed out in about two days.

I'm still startled that I wrote over 14,000 words of fic for an exchange I never signed up for in the first place. Between that and all that Snack blither I tried to do for drachenmina that means I've written something like 23,000 words in a little over a month's time. O.o (Still, that ain't hacking NaNoWriMo. ;) )

Bah. drachenmina, I fail at birthday present. Between two attempts I've written nearly 10,000 words and it all just rambles and wanders and blithers and never fucking goes anywhere. There's some snappy lines but overall it's just so blah and contrived. So I give up. This is supposed to be fun, not brain surgery.

ETA: What is "fail" about these is not that they are bad (although they are rough and, obviously, not even complete narratives), but that neither attempt got anywhere near my goal of "ficlet for a birthday present".

Herewith I present what is basically one huge outtake:

Not-a-title: The Failure of the Snack (A Tragedy in Two Parts)
Pairing: Severus/Sirius
Rating: R
Warnings: Obviously, a lack of beta and lack of Britpick; *koff-koff* percent dumb-Yankee-trying-too-hard-with-the-Britishisms by volume; lack of originality (in the form of re-using a wrist grab from one fic in the other and talking about Severus being made of ice).

( Fit the First: Sirius transforms to Padfoot for the first time, but he has a most undesirable witness to the occasion. )
( Fit the Second: A Slug Club party is a detention? Sure it is, if you're Sirius Black. )

drachenmina: I think I've figured out what is giving me such grief with yours, so I'm going to pull back, refocus and hopefully be able to write something else (and shorter!).

Hem, hem! That said:

Happy birthday, fbowden!

I figured I couldn't go wrong with a bit of Snarry for you, but this isn't an area I've ventured into very much (the extent of my experience to this point is... uh... the 61 words in this post), so this ficlet is still very much in the kiddie pool. Still, I hope it entertains!

Title: Bottled
Characters: Harry/Severus
Rating: PG
Words: ~300
Summary: Ask a silly question, get a silly answer, Harry.
Warnings: Unbetaed.
A/N: Inspired by a gibberish line in this post from the_bitter_word: "How to bottle foolish wand-waving the delicate power of potion-making."

( Bottled )

drachenmina, I don't know if maybe you figured this out, but the recalcitrant Snack fic I was referring to in this post was supposed to be yours for your birthday. There's just no way it's going to be done in time. I've only been managing about half as fast as I would have needed to do, and to top it off I lost a chunk of time to a fire alarm incident at work tonight. Here's a sampler, though, as a kind of apology: ( Read more... )

Happy birthday, slashpine!

You pointed at this picture and requested something with either Severus or a young "Snape-like" Albus Severus and computers. I don't think Al came out very "Snape-like" here (more like "some Snapeish references"), but I hope you enjoy this anyway!

Title: Heavy Wizardry
Characters: Potter family featuring mainly Harry and Albus Severus
Genre: Gen/humour
Rating: G
Words: ~1150
Summary: Albus Severus is a right little geek, he is.
Warnings: Unbetaed, unBritpicked silliness.
A/N: The title refers to the hackish sense of "wizard".


Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced.

*****

( Albus was only five years old when he started asking if he could have a computer. )

(xpost to sirius100)

Title: eyes that cannot see
Author: esmestrella
Characters: just Sirius
Rating: PG
Words: 100
Prompt: shadows
Warnings: Utter lack of anything actually happening?
A/N: I don't usually do pretentious formatting stuff like eschewing capital letters, but it seemed appropriate here. (And I need a better Sirius icon than this one.)

( there were shadows in his head... )

Title: Awake Again
Characters: Lily/Severus (fantasy)
Genre: PWP with a little fluff in.
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 776
Summary: Sometimes a good orgasm will help a girl get to sleep... but not always.
A/N: Unbetaed comment porn for hp_wankfest. Don't take it too seriously.

( Awake. Again. It was two in the morning and quarter of seven came hideously early. )

Look, everyone! I'm being extremely silly again!

(Inspired by this post from lampblack.)


So you want to understand your Snapefan?

We commend you on your decision to support and encourage the Snapefan in your family. This can be a difficult time; sometimes it may seem that she or he is speaking a different language. As the first step to good relations is good communication, we hope this brief glossary and usage guide will aid you on the way to mutual understanding. ( Read more... )

Happy birthday, pennswoods!

You suggested Luna, Neville, Trevor, and/or Snape, with snark on top. I only have any clue how to do one out of those four, so I can only cross my fingers and hope this scores low on the suckitude scale. This is one of those 3:30-AM-god-I-should-be-sleeping ideas, but of course that's typically when Severus whispers his choicest nasty words in my ear and I have to write them down lest I forget. Hope you enjoy!

Title: The Longbottom Blues
Summary: It's tough helping Neville cope with some things.
Rating: G
Word count: 227
A/N: Not betaed.

( Some days it was a little frustrating being Neville Longbottom's friend. )

Snape is hunted by is past of Willow creek...

The Hunting of the Snark
( The Hunting of the Snape )

...but when he gets a letter inviting him to the funeral of William Gondar his long friend he must face his past to find the truth about his death and a dark secret that hunts the family.

Long friend is long. Bespoke casket and everything.

Uh. This began as an example of "a situation in which I would find the use of the word 'slut' acceptable", for a listing of kinks and anti-kinks. Of course the first example that came to mind was a sarcastic use from Severus directed at Sirius. At first I just described it, but...( Read more... )

Happy birthday, nehalenia!

There's no way anything I could write would compare to any of your fics that I have drooled over, but I hope this Snack I made for you is satisfying anyway. (I used real butter, not margarine! But perhaps a little too much, er, vanilla.)

Title: How Not to Shut Up Severus Snape
Pairing: Severus/Sirius; implied Severus/Regulus
Genre: PWP
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 6731
Summary: Almost a year after leaving school, Sirius sneaks back into 12 Grimmauld Place to get some things he left behind. He meets someone he did not expect, who says some things he did not expect, and then does some things he really did not expect.
Warnings/contains: Hallway sex, dirty talk, abuse of em-dashes, lack of Britpicking, a few cracky lines in an overall non-humour fic, timeline assumptions that may not be well-supported by canon, and a way to deal with post-sex mess that would not be approved by Better Homes and Gardens.
Betaed extremely fast by: alwaysasnapefan and coyotegoth . Thanks dudes! *serves you beverages and nibbles of choice*

( Sirius quietly closed the door to his bedroom and silently looked up and down the hall. It would be just what he needed, running into Kreacher at this hour of the night after breaking into his own house... )